After a couple of weeks of nothing less than screaming in my face, pinching hard enough to leave bruises and what seems like endless hills driving to lull him to sleep, my devil child seems to have calmed down (touch wood!).
It has been a tough couple of weeks for me. Organising an interstate move, dealing with family issues and the stress of trying to work out what the problem is with my boy.
Safe to say I think he was ready to drop a nap.
Last night we had some much needed cuddles on the lounge, a minute to reconnect, to understand we were both struggling.
This morning was more relaxed, I followed his lead. We cuddled when he wanted to cuddle, he got boob when he felt it was needed and we danced around the room to wiggles songs. He fed to sleep in the carrier, staying close.
I Have no idea how long he slept for or how long it was after he woke up, he was, I was happy.
As a family we sat around the webber and ate ribs straight off the frill, when he started to get restless, he had a bath, a feed and went to bed.
Sure the day wasn’t perfect, but it was less stressful and everyone is happy – expect the dogs, I forgot to buy dog food!
As a new mum everyone always tells you to have a “tribe”, or “village” around you. People you can lean on for support and advice.
I have a beautiful group of mums I met when bubs was around 10 weeks old, there are 10 of us. A nice number really. We have continued to catch up almost every week since, to swap stories and share laughs. It has been the most magical experience to watch each baby grow and develop little personalities in their own time, and to think we have almost had this scary role for 12 months!
I have one problem.
As much as I treasure my tribe, it’s not nearly enough as a stay at home mum. Staying home with a baby all day is lonely. Its frustrating, and sometimes I just want to get away from it all.
Don’t get me wrong, I love that I have the opportunity to stay at home with my boy all day but it’s definitely not an easy job.
I spend my days chasing a very fast crawler, trying to entertain someone who would rather play with the heater than anticipating the dangers that lie ahead. I prepare food that gets thrown on the floor, or fed to the dogs, I clean up toys at least 15 times a day, fight to change a nappy (resulting in poo on me!), have endless “ba-ba-ba” and “ma-ma-ma” conversations, all whilst singing songs about where I put his dummy – only to find it in my bra where it always lives!
As lonely as it is, each new day comes with a new word, a new skill and a whole new set of laughs. And not to mention a new photo of my growing boy and his quirky personality to share with my tribe.
We’re moving again…
This will be the 5th move in almost 7 years. Don’t get me wrong, I like change, but I like to feel at home and settled as well.
Why on the move again after we had decided this was it? Well as someone close to us put it so perfectly, we have been treading water for 5 years now, its time to start swimming!
Some people are happy to mosey on through life with an ok job, they come home to the family, kiss the kids goodnight and watch some tv before going to bed and starting it all again the next day. Not us. Or I should say unfortunately not us. We want to have a job we enjoy and feel fulfilled with, a hobby that excites us and a family whom can’t wait to hear what adventure will be next. Although I understand this is somewhat difficult to achieve, I can at least reach for the stars, right?
Right now, life is comfortable. My partner goes off to work each day whilst I stay home with our almost 10 month old. We pay our bills, we contribute to our debts, we have hobbies. Well sort of.
Our hobbies are inhibited by our need to pay off our debts. We have been carrying these for 5 years (this is the treading water), it’s a long time and a waste of money to carry debt. We have never been in a position to pay them off, just always staying afloat.
The other week, I decided enough was enough, it’s time to get rid of them. To enjoy debt free (mostly) life. To get back to working towards the lifestyle that we want.
Here we go. Moving interstate with two dogs, partner,10 month old and a house full of crap!