I was talking to a friend of mine last night about what I was going to do as a job and the options I had come up with. She brought up an interesting fact, it went something like this..Right now you are busy being mum, don’t worry about a job.
Interesting I know.
The reason it’s interesting is kind of sad though. I can’t just be mum. I can’t just look after my boy. I can’t make him my only thought day and night. Not because I don’t want to or because I can’t physically do it, but because society won’t let me.
Society doesn’t accept mums for being mums.
Sound silly? Because it is.
When I am in a group situation the typical talk is about what you do. The minute I answer with stay at home mum, then the questions roll about when I will go back to work, if you don’t have a job what will you study while you are at home, why don’t you just drop him at childcare or his grandparents house. Because I don’t want to. End of story.
I don’t know what I want to do. I’m only just starting to realise what I like doing as a hobby now that I’m not as sleep deprived. Being a mum is hard work and I only have one, I can’t imagine what it would be like with multiples. But for those that feel the need to ask any new mum those questions, think about this.
One day I will go to work. I don’t know when that will be.
One day I will feel ready to drop him at childcare.
One day I will feel ready to plan activities or days without him.
One day I’ll put him to bed in his own bed.
And one day he won’t want me around any more, he will want his space, his own bed, his own friends, and activities to enjoy, he will feel embarrassed to kiss and cuddle me in front of people and won’t lay his head on my shoulder where he feels safe to relax. When that day comes, I’ll be glad I had him so close for so many years, so many moments, so many memories. For those memories are the ones I will look back on and share with him when he has his own family.