Trusting your gut

I get my best ideas when I’m doing the most mundane of activities. In the shower or on the toilet, the best ones are when I’m hanging out the washing. Strange right?

Well there might be some science to it (at least I’m calling it science, lets see what you think). It seems to be the only time my brain shuts off my to do list, don’t ask me why, if I knew I would definitely be utilizing that shit for sleep time!

Anyway, my brain likes reflect on experiences I’ve been through or thoughts I have had on the fly that almost represent a business opportunity or career option etc.

A lot of the time, my head telling me what I ‘should’ do pushes these out. But according to whom? Well these ‘should’ excuses are justifying to myself why I haven’t or wont start this new venture; this person says the progression isn’t great, that person says it’s a hard industry to be in and sometimes I just have no reason.

I have read that these excuses are also doing a great job of masking our gut feeling. A gut feeling that should be listened to, however we have learnt to ignore it and just make a decision as quickly as possible, something that comes with the world moving at an all time fast pace.

So here’s something we can try together. List the times that your gut feeling has come through for you, and maybe even times you can recall your gut telling you the opposite of what you decided. I think I know what mine will look like before I even put pen to paper.

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Supporting a mindset change

Working out what you want to do with your life has to be one of the greatest challenges. Especially when you feel as though your meant for greater things.

That’s not to say fame or fortune is what your chasing, but you feel unsatisfied by the mundane. You are constantly searching for the exciting, adrenaline pumping action that gives you a greater sense of purpose and achievement.

What’s harder than trying to work out how to get this? Being on the supporting end.

Being the only cheerleader in the corner.

Knowing that you would do anything to make them happy and feel accomplished, if only they knew what that was.

So here’s the thing. Once someone has a moment in their life where they can experience what that rush is like for a few days, feel what it’s like to achieve goals and break down their barriers to show what they are really capable of. What is the true impact after walking away?

I’m almost tempted to say it’s a tease. 

A taste of what life can be like, but isn’t. An example of what your capable of achieving if your pushed to your absolute limit surrounded by a team a cheerleaders, only everyday your not. A show of your true colours when sleep and food deprevivation go hand in hand, but your fridge is full.

So how are you meant to support a mindset change from an experience like this when you almost look more broken than before you left? When the experience seems to have made you feel more guilty about not being as productive or achieving as much as when life wasn’t getting in the way.

The fear of failure is becoming more evident in people’s lives, but yet these experiences are not only showing you how much you can achieve if you push yourself, they are also proving how much your not achieving as a whole, and isn’t that more damaging to a persons mindset?

So how do I support a mindset change, when it seems like that change might trigger more confusion and questions than before the experience?

Some nights all they want is you – and its down right exhausting

This is the 3rd night in a row Archie has literally been attached to me Basically all night. To the point where if I try and sneak his dummy in to give myself a break he cries. Like he’s not even asleep enough to trick him with his dummy.

3 nights! And when he’s attached, I’m not sleeping.

We gave in to co-sleeping at around 7 months, for the sanity of the household. It’s the best thing we did, but it doesn’t mean every night is good. Nor does it mean breastfeeding is easier.

In actual fact I think some nights he feeds more, especially when he is in pain. Which is less of a feed and more of a suck, and a weird hand that rubs across the top of my chest while he tries to relax back to sleep. 

It drives me crazy.

So after a whole night of non stop bad date spec touching me. The next night we battle it out. 

And by the morning I’ve had enough of the touching, in fact of anyone touching me. 

So we drive around in circles till he naps in the car. I sit there with no one touching me for over an hour. It’s bliss. 

It makes the 3rd night a little easier, but I definately have to give myself a pep talk on the reasons I’m still breastfeeding at that point. 

I have zero idea why he’s having a hard time, but when does anyone know what’s going on? 

I’ve given him some panadol and he’s just fallen asleep watching me type (I know, I wouldn’t have believed it myself if I didn’t see it!) . 

Fingers crossed he sleeps all night, apparently we are going to the gym at 6am.

Wish me luck!

That sinking feeling

Not a night goes by that I get into bed and don’t feel I’ve forgotten something. To the point where I get that absolutely dreaded sinking sensation of “oh my gosh” I forgot to…

You’d think it was something terribly important by the way my body responds to the thought. And to be honest sometimes it is, but most times, it’s not. 

Mostly just things I should have done during the day but don’t get to. Some days I’m so busy I don’t get to sit down till Archies in bed, and then I don’t really know what I actually achieved. 

The washing I brought in and put away, is all over the floor – Archie

The bed I made in the morning, looks like I’ve been having a nice nap all day – Archie (not from sleeping I can tell you)

The floor I vacuumed, has biscuit crumbs and blueberries smooshed into it – Archie

Im seeing a pattern here. No wonder it feels like nothing gets done. 

I spend half my day doing the same 5 things over and over and the other half looking for my things as if they were hidden treasures. Stashed away in trains, draws, shoes, boxes, the play tent and sometimes even under my pillow.

It would be easier to just walk out and leave it, but I can’t do that, imagine what it would look like then! 

Everything I have I give to you

I give you my undivided attention, my imagination and my curiosity. My encouragement, artistic flare and advice.

I give you my antibodies, healing kisses, my courage and my strength. My habits, good and bad, my patients and trust.

I give you my problem solving skills, my words, emotions and understanding. My nights and early mornings, cuddles and loving kisses.

I give you my thoughts and my deepest worries. My entertainment, signing and dancing, wonder and discovery.

I give you my lessons, explanations, questions and reassurance. My watchful eye, wishful thinking and future plans.

I give you my time and unconditional love, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

Are we really spending time with our kids?

As a stay at home parent, I do a lot of going to activities or playgrounds and letting Archie run around. He sometimes plays with other kids, depending on his mood that day, and sometimes he just wants to sit with me and watch.

Its in these moments that Archie just sits with me that I have the time to look around. What i see is a lot of singular parents sitting on their phones, while their kids play on the playground. At first, it annoyed me, they weren’t paying any attention to what was going on. They were with their kids, but not present in the moment, their kids would yell out something, and they first few times they would ignore them, before saying something like “great” or “ok”.

But I stopped myself right there.

Thats not a fair judgement.

Staying at home with any number of children is a full time job. You get up and make breakfast, sometimes its eaten sometimes not. sometimes you spend all day trying to get them to nap, you read books, play with puppets, crawl around on the floor pretending to be a dog, dinosaur, horse, whatever it is, its hard and tiring. You spend all day making sure they have eaten enough, drunk enough, have clean nappies on and are not getting into anything they shouldn’t. Somewhere in there you need to keep up with the general housework, which depending on the age can be handwork in itself.

So you know what I do when I’ve just about had enough.

I go to the park.

Why?

Because I can sit and watch Archie play while I have five mins to myself, and if the playground is fenced, thats even better, I might be able to check in with the outside world, and know there really are other people out there having hard days too.

Mothers give everything they have every second of the day. There are no lunch breaks, no weekends, no days off. We do it when we are sick, tired, frustrated, on our birthdays on days when our closest friends and family pass.

Its hard to switch off, so next time you see a mother on her phone, have a think about how hard her day might have been so far and its not even over yet.